Throughout this week, its been tiring. I seldom have time for myself. To think through the path i want. After talking to people and reading blogs, uni doesnt seems appealing to me now. I can barely survive in MI with spoon feedings from tutors. What makes me so sure that i can survive at those high independent level? After letting yong and gan to read my achievements thing, i cant say i'm happy about it. I cant deny that my english have dropped. Or has it never been improved? Ohwells, i dun think i'm ready for all that in uni. Worst, i dun think i can handle. Could this be the reason for my insonmia? i hate it.
On a side track, my sis went to the swimming pool alone. Yup. I went to the gym while shes there in the pool all alone. Watching other kids play and have their parents by their side. I wonder if she'll detest my mom or me for leaving her there. But, its still her decision to go. I guess the taste of freedom is too irresistable to her coz apparently, she is still there at the swimming pool while i am here at home typing all these. I must say she's brave for her age to do things alone. Sometimes, I wonder if i'm the one taking care of her or she's the one taking care of me.
Why should i follow the crowd when my heart is not?
I swear its hard to do things the way i want.
The life I yearn is so far, so far.
The obstacles is so huge, so demoralizing.
I can see it, but I cant reach it.
Who will be there to give me a push, a pull?
When I know that that effort,
Will guide me through. =)
(Duh!)