The kind of feeling i get is totally different. Fath feels frustrated when she is in child care. Pui Leng gets the sense of happiness when she is working there as well. But for me, its neither. All their forever-wanting-my-attention method is driving me nuts yet makes time fly pass. When they are out to play games, i kept looking at them and wish that my mum put me in some student care centre when i was young. When the boys were playing soccer, you people should have watched how they play! Some boys play like they are David Beckham. The way they purposely fall to mimick their football idols stopped me from scolding them when i'm supposed to. I know, thats really bad but i cant help it. I know for one fact that when they grow up, they will reminisce all these memories just like i do. I missed out so much when i was at their age and now, i hope they will enjoy whatever they have when i have to look after them.
Anyway, working as a teacher there certainly raised certain doubts in my future to maybe be a teacher. For one thing, I dun have the heart to scold them. Even if i were to scold, its definitely not from my heart. Its just cause i have to. And i also tend to spend TOO much time on the weak ones thus neglecting others. Not a very good sign as some will purposely be weak when they are not. For one fact, teaching my sister is definitely harder then teaching them. I yearn perfection for my close ones and hope that my sister will not follow the path that i've walked. I hope she will out-shine me in all aspects that i've done. To live the life that i want but cant.
This week is gonna be a tough week. Considering the fact that i've start work. Friday night will be discussing about something important. Saturday morning qing ming. Followed by meeting of gannie's fren at clark quay before hitting of to st james with yan shan( tentatively ). Sunday will be going to estee's hse before hanging out with carolyn at some place in spore. =)
This paragraph is delicated to GANNIE!!
All this while, u've been there for me. Be it for A levels to rejecting guys to liking someone, u've been there. For this coming sat, i'll be there for u you as well. For all the decisions u've made, i'll stick to you like bees to honey. If he is disappointed, in the future, he'll regret. If he scrowls at you, i'll make sure his mouth regrets having the owner. If he finds you not up to his standard, i'll make sure he wun be of any decent girl's standard. If he complains about ur style, i'll groge his eyes out(with a fork) =) For every guy we have met or are going to meet, we should not be thinking that he might possibly hurt us in the future but rather, think that he may widen your views and insights to something. Remember, its the joy of meeting a friend and not a boyfriend that will make you a lot more open minded. (in a good way. =)) If he can take in your perfections and accept your flaws, he is one good friend to keep but if he cant, dun worry. Coz there are billions of people out there that you'll get to meet and perhaps, keep. You are there to show ur trueself and whether or not if he can accept it, that is his problem. And whether or not you can take it, you still have me by the side. =)
(Duh!)